The Darkish Aspect of Every Enneagram Kind
Everybody has a darkish aspect, proper? All of us have moments the place we’re not at our greatest as a result of stress, exhaustion, or immaturity. However what occurs once we’re at our absolute worst? At this time that’s what we’re going to discover. Every of the 9 Enneagram varieties can descend into unhealthy conduct when they’re utilizing unhealthy coping mechanisms and going to excessive lengths to keep away from their core concern. At this time we’re going to have a look at how these varieties present up at their worst and provides some pointers for shifting previous this stage.
Unsure what your Enneagram sort is? Take our free questionnaire here
The Darkish Aspect of Every Enneagram Kind
Enneagram 1
Enneagram Ones have a driving want to be good and to have integrity. These are varieties that may push themselves to the brink of exhaustion merely to do what they consider is true. At their greatest, they’re clever, beneficiant, and uplifting. Tolerance is a trademark trait of the wholesome One. They know that no person is ideal, however they create out the most effective in individuals just by being current. Their pure integrity conjures up others to dwell with extra intention and objective.
The Enneagram One Darkish Aspect:
When Ones are unhealthy or immature they will present a darkish aspect that’s removed from the noble, wise aspect that reveals up when they’re wholesome. Unhealthy Ones concern that they’re realizing their worst concern: that they’re certainly turning into corrupted or “evil.” They attempt to management their impulses, justify themselves, or rid themselves of anybody or something who makes them conscious of their corruption. Their inside turmoil reveals up in an obsessive, controlling nature. If they will management all the pieces outdoors themselves then maybe they will idiot themselves into believing they’re actually okay.
Unhealthy Ones are illiberal to others and closed-minded to anybody who reveals a distinct worth system from their very own. Black-and-white, absolutist considering is a trademark of the unhealthy One. They’ll by no means be flawed, even when given objectively verifiable information. Whenever you’re round these Ones you are feeling like you might be strolling on eggshells for concern of triggering their condemnation. Just like the priest in The Hunchback of Notre Dame, these Ones are fast to evaluate and condemn what’s completely different from themselves whereas secretly harboring ideas which are removed from pure or righteous.
The unhealthy One is a deeply conflicted and tormented particular person. They wrestle with obsessive ideas which are corrupt or evil. The extra they attempt to silence these ideas, the extra they appear to flare up uncontrollably. The extra they repress their emotions and impulses, the more serious they develop into twisted and distorted. Consequently, Ones expend large vitality merely attempting to place a lid on these ideas; to deal with one thing else. They might obsessively clear, management their meals consumption, finances their cash, or in any other case attempt to manage and handle their surroundings to allow them to really feel a component of management.
The Enneagram One darkish aspect generally is a highly effective and overwhelming pressure, however with the precise assist this Enneatype can study to seek out steadiness and peace of thoughts. By understanding their want for perfection, their concern of being seen as corrupt, and their inside battle between these two contradictory forces, they will uncover the noble and clever Enneagram One inside. In case you really feel like you might be at this sort of a darkish and unhealthy place, I might suggest speaking to a psychological well being skilled who may help you kind out the roots of those points. In case you’d like to seek out extra suggestions for regaining equilibrium, you possibly can scroll to the underside of my article on the struggles of the Enneagram One to seek out some suggestions.
Enneagram 2
Enneagram Twos have a driving want to be liked for who they honestly are. Deep down, they’re afraid that no matter they do won’t ever be sufficient to really deserve and achieve love; that they’re unworthy of being liked. At their greatest, Twos love unconditionally with out anticipating something in return. Their pleasure and generosity spark emotions of heat and acceptance in these round them. They’ve the capability to be deeply compassionate and understanding, usually selflessly placing others first.
The Enneagram Two Darkish Aspect:
When Twos are unhealthy or immature they will present a darkish aspect that’s removed from the loving, beneficiant aspect that reveals up when they’re wholesome. Unhealthy Twos give so as to get. They attempt to achieve love by way of manipulation somewhat than by way of authentically beneficiant acts. This Two is a grasp within the artwork of the “guilt journey”; doing small favors for others, then appearing shocked and harm when others don’t present adequate appreciation.
“They’ll play others like an orchestra, upping the extent of guilt right into a disturbing crescendo or dampening it right down to a whisper, as wanted. They play individuals in opposition to one another, and worse, they can play others in opposition to themselves…by casting others into self-doubt and making them really feel responsible and confused, unhealthy Twos throw others off the scent of their very own manipulations.” – Don Richard Riso with Russ Hudson, Character Varieties: Utilizing the Enneagram for Self-Discovery
Enneagram Twos develop into overly depending on others and search to regulate these round them, convincing themselves that they do no matter they do out of affection and care. Unhealthy Enneagram Twos could also be susceptible to drama and disaster, seeing their very own issues as the one actual ones on the planet. They’re consultants at making themselves the focus whereas taking part in the function of martyr so as to achieve love. Typically they really feel victimized by others; taken benefit of or used. And, in reality, they could have been taken benefit of by others, notably of their pasts. However the unhealthy Two is fast to see themselves the sufferer when others merely aren’t offering sufficient “love” to fill the bottomless gap of longing they’ve inside them. These Twos really feel entitled to the love and subservience of others, as a result of they really feel that they’ve earned it by way of “selfless” acts. This Two might not have even finished a lot to assist another person, however at their core they really feel a proper to be taken care of, and anticipate others to do the heavy lifting.
Twos don’t begin off on this unhealthy state, nonetheless. Often they arrive right here by being harm and brought benefit of, notably in childhood, to some extent the place they now not know what actual love is they usually’re uninterested in giving to others, as a result of it hasn’t labored out so properly for them up to now.
Whereas the Enneagram Two darkish aspect could also be exhausting to have a look at, it doesn’t imply that every one Enneagram Twos are doomed to dwell in a state of unhealthy darkness. In reality, with consciousness and trustworthy reflection, Enneagram Twos can start to see the patterns of their conduct that now not serve them, in addition to any false core perception programs they could have adopted. From there, Enneagram Twos can start a course of of non-public progress and transformation that allows them to seek out real love for themselves and others. With the precise assist, Enneagram Twos can rediscover their spark of generosity and compassion, which can permit them to expertise actual love that’s unconditional and true.
I might encourage anybody who pertains to this description of the Enneagram Two to hunt out assist within the type of psychological well being professionals or private progress coaches. By the assistance of others, Enneagram Twos can study to inform the distinction between wholesome giving pushed by real love and unhealthy giving pushed by a necessity for approval.
In case you really feel that you’re headed into an unhealthy place, you too can try my article in regards to the 7 struggles of the Enneagram Two. There are suggestions in that article for getting again to a constructive mind set.
Enneagram 3
At their greatest, Threes are real and motivating. They’re pushed by a want to enhance the world and persist in far-reaching objectives. Diligent and pleasant, they make nice leaders and they’re usually the go-to particular person in terms of getting issues finished. The Three’s core want is to be worthwhile and worthwhile, however their core concern is that they’re nugatory and can be rejected.
The Enneagram Three Darkish Aspect:
As Threes descend into their darkish aspect, they cease trying just like the benevolent, motivating Threes we talked about within the first paragraph. They develop into opportunistic, manipulative, and misleading. Inside they really feel desolate and empty as a result of they’re so out of contact with their emotions and values that they will solely discover a “repair” in others’ admiration of them. Any vulnerability or inside wounding they are going to disguise with a masks of false confidence and coolness.
The unhealthy Three is indifferent from their core; they don’t even know who they’re anymore. As an alternative, they are going to do no matter it takes to persuade others that they’re distinctive. However as a substitute of incomes others’ admiration they distort the reality, minimize corners, lie, and even take credit score for others’ work. These Threes will do almost something to look like successes to others, even when these very issues harm themselves and push them additional into a spot of disconnection and vacancy. This opportunism and dishonesty creates a simultaneous concern that they are going to be “discovered.” Then they are going to notice their greatest concern; that they’re, certainly, nugatory and rejected. So long as they will hold the facade going, they really feel that they will keep away from that concern as a result of others will see them as worthwhile as a result of their competency. They develop into compulsive about mendacity, as a result of they so want to make an impression and to look excellent. As their inside world turns into extra tormented and afraid, they push to look calm and competent and charming on the skin. At their very worst, they could benefit from the downfall of others merely to allow them to really feel superior as compared.
Like all of the Enneatypes, unhealthy Threes don’t sometimes begin out unhealthy. They usually start down this darkish path in childhood, once they really feel a have to be particular and distinctive so as to achieve love and approval from dad and mom or caregivers who could also be emotionally absent or exhausting to please. Enneagram Threes develop into so used to attempting to please and make an impression that they overlook their true selves within the course of.
The excellent news is Enneagram Threes have large potential for private progress if they will acknowledge their unhealthy patterns, which regularly come from core insecurity and emotional disconnection. By private progress, Enneagram Threes can carry extra authenticity again into their lives, be extra related with their very own emotions and values, and study that they’re worthwhile even with out grandiose ranges of success. I might encourage Enneagram Threes to hunt out assist within the type of psychological well being professionals to allow them to start the journey of uncovering their true self and discovering inside peace and calm somewhat than vacancy and disgrace. Serving to out of their communities can be an efficient path in the direction of therapeutic. Many Threes discover renewed readability once they assist a trigger that issues to them or discover a group the place they will work in the direction of one thing that advantages others.
Discover Out Extra Concerning the Enneagram Three: The Enneagram 3 Little one
Enneagram 4
At their greatest, Enneagram Fours embrace life with an impressed, trustworthy, and intuitive spirit. They’re inventive, delicate, and passionate and are deeply in contact with the human situation. Contentment is a key trait of the wholesome 4, they usually discover pleasure in participating with the world round them whereas nonetheless sustaining their very own inside sense of self.
The core want of the 4 is to seek out themselves and their significance, whereas their core concern is that they don’t have any identification or private significance.
The Enneagram 4 Darkish Aspect:
As Fours descend into darkness, they develop into overwhelmed with the sensation that they’ve misplaced each alternative to seek out themselves and their very own significance. They develop into overwhelmed by misplaced alternatives and their very own perceived failures. Not solely are they stricken by a way of grief over what they haven’t achieved, they’re stuffed with a way of desperation that they by no means will accomplish something significant. Thus, they attempt to minimize off their needs. They don’t wish to harm anymore, so in the event that they don’t need something, they consider they will shield themselves from ache. What outcomes is that every one the life and emotional depth drains out of them they usually really feel fatigued, apathetic, and alienated from everybody round them and even themselves.
The unhealthy 4 usually believes that their issues are worse than everybody else’s and that others have all allow them to down. As a result of they crave uniqueness, at an unhealthy degree, they discover that sense of uniqueness within the depth of their struggling. Their disappointment in themselves intensifies they usually start to hate themselves and see solely their worst inside qualities. They consider they’re unworthy of affection from anybody and develop into obsessive about morbid fantasies. Finally, they really feel rightly rejected by everybody and satisfied that they’re totally and completely faulty.
The excellent news is Enneagram Fours have large potential for private progress and achievement. It’s extraordinarily troublesome for an unhealthy 4 to see this potential in themselves, but when they will take step one and search assist from a therapist, life coach, or trusted information, they will start to grasp that deep down they’re nonetheless worthwhile, worthy, and have unimaginable potential. I might additionally urge any 4 who’s studying this text to take time to assume by way of your core values. What issues to you in life? What ethics do you maintain quick to? Discover just a few issues you are able to do every day to strengthen these values. Whether or not which means volunteering for a trigger or creating some easy artwork round these values, discover a option to get in contact with the issues that matter to you on a soul degree.
Discover Out Extra Concerning the Enneagram 4: 7 Struggles of the Enneagram 4 Character Kind
Enneagram 5
At their greatest, Enneagram Fives are visionary thinkers who steadiness curiosity with playfulness. They like to study, however even moreso, they like to invent and create in the true world. Their open-minded, exploratory lifestyle offers others the same want to study and experiment.
The core want of the 5 is to be succesful and competent, and the core concern of the 5 is that they’re helpless or incapable.
The Enneagram 5 Darkish Aspect:
Enneagram Fives of their darkish aspect are stricken by doubt and disgust not solely on the world outdoors, however themselves. They really feel that they are going to inevitably fail at something they try and do on the planet and that they are going to by no means discover a place to slot in in society. Relatively than attempting to experiment with concepts and create one thing, they as a substitute deal with invalidating others’ concepts. They achieve pleasure from discrediting others, poking enjoyable on the foolishness of the world, and rejecting what others consider. Any attachment to others feels threatening, so Fives at this degree justify their reclusiveness by dropping all religion in humanity or its worth.
Sadly, as Fives retreat additional and additional into the darkness of their very own isolation, they develop into increasingly frightened of the world outdoors. They really feel incapable of coping and subsequently rid themselves of something that will pressure engagement or connection to something exterior. Perhaps they dwell in a small room, consuming little or no, working as little as doable to satisfy the naked minimal of their bills. They’re stricken by nervousness and develop into disconnected from their our bodies; they really feel as if they’re merely concepts and ideas related to dangling limbs. Many Fives at this degree expertise insomnia as a result of they’re so riddled with fears that some unseen pressure will harm them whereas they sleep. They aren’t simply afraid of the world outdoors, they’re afraid of their very own ideas which develop into more and more morbid. Horrific fantasies and concepts play earlier than their minds’ eye in an limitless stream they usually really feel helpless to cease it. To compound issues, they resist any assist from others and minimize themselves off increasingly from exterior sources of assist.
This can be very troublesome for Fives at this degree to succeed in out to others for assist, however that is precisely what they have to do. Enneagram Fives have large potential to be joyful and authentic, however solely when they’re firmly grounded in what’s actual. Getting skilled assist, getting in contact with nature, and exploring inventive retailers might be nice methods for Enneagram Fives to begin shifting out of the darkness and again into their potential. It will probably really feel scary and uncomfortable at first, however it’s important. Fives can begin easy, by taking quiet walks in nature or sending a textual content to a trusted pal. Even just a few small steps every day will make a distinction. Fives ought to attempt to get into their our bodies, stretching, meditating, or understanding. They need to push themselves to attach with outdoors assist in the event that they’re at this unhealthy degree. A counselor who specializing in coping with nervousness and melancholy generally is a large useful resource.
Discover Out Extra Concerning the Enneagram 5: 7 Struggles of the Enneagram 5 Character Kind
Enneagram 6
At their greatest, Sixes are brave and grounded. They worth loyalty, camaraderie, and compassion for many who are handled unfairly on the planet. They take it upon themselves to guard their households and associates from hazard, and are recognized to be reliable and pragmatic.
The core concern of the Six is that they’re unable to outlive on their very own or that they’re with out assist. The core want of the Six is to seek out safety, assist, and belonging.
The Enneagram Six Darkish Aspect:
When Sixes start to enter their darkish aspect, they develop more and more skeptical of others. They really feel stricken by doubt that others will betray them. Some Sixes react by testing others, turning into belligerent and passive-aggressive. Others are extra overtly confrontational; defiantly lashing out at individuals they concern will double-cross them. As these assaults and checks on others multiply, they’ve moments of extreme nervousness that they’re turning away all their supporters. Their core concern, to be alone and with out assist, appears to be coming true. They drown in self-disparagement and really feel overwhelmed by insecurity. As their nervousness will increase, they maintain ever tightly to the supporters they nonetheless have of their lives. They develop into clingingly dependent and panicky, terrified that their final threads of assist will break.
As this panic and concern escalates, Sixes consider that all the pieces is a disaster. Their nervousness feels increasingly uncontrolled, they usually develop into more and more paranoid. Projection is a every day drawback; and Sixes at this degree will venture all their darkest fears onto others they usually really feel sure that others are out to get them, betray them, or harm them not directly. This paranoia and concern escalates into rage, and the Six worries that every one their emotions of hate and anger are literally emotions others are harboring in the direction of them. They really feel a ceaseless urge to guard themselves from all of the assaults they’re positive others are about to ship their manner.
The Enneagram Six wants to succeed in out for assist and take decisive motion to interrupt freed from their downward spiral. Reaching out to a counselor or therapist who focuses on Enneagram character varieties or nervousness might be tremendously useful. Discovering methods to develop into extra grounded can be essential. Taking time to follow deep respiration, meditation, and prayer may help Enneagram Sixes to develop into extra centered and conscious of what’s actual. Writing in a journal, studying self-help books, or speaking with trusted associates are additionally nice strategies for gaining steadiness, readability, and perspective.
Discover Out Extra About Enneagram Sixes: 7 Struggles of the Enneagram Six Character Kind
Enneagram 7
At their greatest, Sevens have a contentment and appreciation with life that many envy. They’re energetic and enthusiastic optimists who worth positivity and search to seek out the great in all issues. Sevens carry pleasure, humor, and keenness wherever they go.
The core want of the Seven is to be happy and content material. The core concern of the Seven is to be trapped or to be in ache or deprivation.
The Enneagram Seven Darkish Aspect:
When Enneagram Sevens start to maneuver into their darkish aspect, they develop into caught in a cycle of craving experiences that can by no means carry them true satisfaction. The act of buying a brand new issues or expertise shortly turns into an habit, and Enneagram Sevens frantically race to accumulate the following neatest thing so as to fulfill their core want for contentment.
Sevens at this degree develop into obsessive about looking for pleasure and avoiding ache. They keep in movement, continually appearing on impulse, hoping that in the event that they keep busy they will keep away from their very own unhappiness and inside ache. Being alone amplifies their nervousness, in order that they stress others to do no matter exercise they’re concerned in. Sadly, at this degree many Sevens get pleasure from less-than-healthy pursuits like binge consuming or extreme partying in pursuit of momentary pleasure.
Sevens at this darkish degree are sometimes extremely reactive and present little to no management of their emotional impulses. They act out, throw issues, burst into tears, insult individuals, throw punches. So as to rid themselves of no matter disturbing feeling is plaguing them, they act out on no matter they really feel. These Sevens are removed from the joyous, impressed Sevens at a wholesome degree. They’re emotionally immature, depressed, and manic.
As with all the categories, a very powerful factor at this degree is to hunt skilled assist in the type of a counselor or assist group. Enneagram Sevens must also discover methods to follow mindfulness so as to achieve readability. Meditation, prayer, yoga, journaling, or another exercise that helps them settle down is essential. Taking time to study one thing new or learn a e book will also be immensely useful for Enneagram Sevens in want of some perspective.
Discover Out Extra About Enneagram Sevens: 7 Struggles of the Enneagram Seven
Enneagram 8
At their greatest, Eights are protecting and compassionate individuals who encourage braveness in others. Whereas they’ve robust, assertive personalities, they aren’t impulsive and reckless. They problem themselves to be honorable and test their motives in all they do.
The core want of the Enneagram Eight is to guard themselves and have management of their very own life and future. The core concern of this sort is to be harmed or managed by others.
The Enneagram Eight Darkish Aspect:
When Enneagram Eights transfer into their darkish aspect, they develop into domineering and forceful. They develop into obsessive about having energy, and don’t thoughts intimidating or manipulating others so as to achieve it. They provoke and confront individuals, believing that persons are out to govern or management them. Due to their harsh, ruthless nature, they have a tendency to assemble enemies wherever they go. They consider it’s a dog-eat-dog world, they usually wish to be the highest canine who doesn’t rely on anybody. May is all the pieces, and weak point is despised.
Eights at this degree are sometimes consumed with a have to be proper. They don’t perceive that compromise is important in relationships, they usually understand it as an indication of non-public weak point. Any restrictions or guidelines are supposed to be defied, though they don’t thoughts imposing guidelines on others and tyrannically telling individuals what to do. Sadly, these Eights are sometimes lonely and disliked. As a result of they see indicators of friendliness or gentleness as weak point, they push away individuals who might nurture and assist them. In addition they keep away from being susceptible and open with others, believing they are going to be betrayed or taken benefit of.
Getting assist at this stage appears almost unimaginable for the unhealthy Eight. As with all of the Enneatypes, when they’re this unhealthy, they usually really feel that their weaknesses are requirements for survival. Speaking to a counselor or opening as much as associates feels particularly ridiculous to the unhealthy Eight, as a result of they don’t belief anybody they usually hate the concept of being susceptible. Nevertheless, when you’re an Eight and also you acknowledge these unhealthy traits in your self, I might urge you to take steps in the direction of therapeutic. Notice that your highly effective character was meant for use to enhance the world, to not dominate it. Search skilled assist or be a part of a assist group to discover ways to channel your energy in wholesome, constructive methods. Notice that you simply deserve friendships and trustworthy relationships with individuals; even when there are some dangers concerned. No danger, no reward, proper? Discover one small factor you are able to do for another person each day, whether or not that be a easy praise or serving to somebody with a sensible activity. At your greatest, you could have a magnanimous, highly effective character that may drastically enhance the lives of others (and your self).
Discover Out Extra About Enneagram Eights: Seven Struggles of the Enneagram Eight Kind
Enneagram 9
At their greatest, Enneagram Nines are peaceable, supportive individuals who embrace life with a gradual sense of objective. They care deeply about their family members and attempt to create concord in relationships. Enneagram Nines additionally possess an inside serenity and depth of creativeness that permits them to realize insights that may assist enhance the world.
The core want of Enneagram Nines is to really feel safe and have peace of thoughts. The core concern of this sort is loss or separation.
The Enneagram 9 Darkish Aspect
As Nines descend into darkness, they develop into increasingly indifferent from themselves and the world round them. Caught in denial, they refuse to face conflicts or issues and dwell inside their very own illusions. These Nines refuse to do something they don’t wish to do, however in addition they don’t know what they need. They block individuals out, ignoring their duties, relationships, and kids (if they’ve them). Sometimes they are going to erupt into bouts of rage, however they are going to shortly settle down, pretending that nothing occurred.
At this degree of well being, Enneagram Nines develop into addicted to flee and keep away from something that will pressure them to cope with actuality. Typically they really feel depressed, confused, and depending on individuals who have extra controlling tendencies. Neglect is a key trait of this sort; if they’re dad and mom, they are going to overlook to take their youngsters and can be oblivious to their emotional wants. However their neglectfulness extends to themselves as properly. They might miss physician’s appointments, skip work, or overlook to select their youngsters up from college. It’s as if this sort is in a fog they will’t get out of. Changing into conscious of all of the methods they’ve failed others would solely make them really feel worse, in order that they proceed in dissociation. Typically they really feel like life is sort of a dangerous dream and they’re helpless to interrupt out of it, as a result of actuality is just too painful to cope with.
Getting assist is feasible however troublesome for Enneagram Nines at this unhealthy degree, since they’re so comfy repressing their true emotions and wishes. Nevertheless, the Enneagram 9 can take some steps to begin the therapeutic course of. Begin by recognizing that your feelings exist and you’ve got a proper to really feel them – whether or not it’s disappointment, anger, or unhappiness. Begin to develop into conscious of the methods your conduct has harm different individuals and make amends. Discover inventive retailers – specific your self by way of music, artwork, writing, or something that brings you pleasure. Lastly, search out counseling or remedy if it’s out there to you. As soon as Enneagram Nines start their therapeutic journey, they will reconnect with themselves and the world round them in a robust manner.
Discover Out Extra About Enneagram Nines: Seven Struggles of the Enneagram 9 Kind.
What Are Your Ideas?
Did you get pleasure from this text? Do you could have any insights or experiences to share? Tell us within the feedback!
Different Articles You May Get pleasure from:
How We Misread Every Enneagram Kind
How Every Enneagram Kind Tries to Escape Their Ache
Find out how to Get Together with Each Enneagram Kind
